Aunt Joan

Incredibly Aunt Joan passed away one week to the day after Dad, and her funeral was today, one week after Dad's. The oldest and youngest sibling passed in one week's time.  Aunt Joan was not well at Dad's service, but her girls told me today she was bound and determined to make it to Dad's funeral, and she did. Mallaneys are stubborn. Mallaneys are tough. Her service was beautiful, her son gave a wonderful memorial, it was lovely, a grand tribute. A sad day to be sure, but how lovely it is that you can see bits of her in her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren; her beautiful, quick smile and gorgeous eyes, and her warm and welcoming ways. 

Dad, in his dementia, seeking his family, often asked, "Where are the little kids?" Well one of those little kids was Aunt Joan. They are together now.

Not much else. Still getting used to the new normal. It was weird to be in the car heading to Coal City without Bernie! Mom, to my delight, stole Dad's line and said "Look at how big that field is! You can't see the end of it!" LOL We all had a laugh in our sadness. Some funny Dad stories at the dinner today too. I guess that is how you get through sadness. One of my good friends lost her Dad, and when I was going through the line at the wake, after I had seen him in all the pictures, I told her that I was very sad and sorry that he was gone, but almost every time I thought of him, I ended up laughing. That happens a lot when I think of Dad. I think that is a good way to be remembered.

Anyway . . . . John and I went to Starved Rock this weekend and saw some Eagles on the river. Sunshine and fresh air is always good for whatever ails you!

One last thing . . . after Dad's funeral dinner (delicious! thanks Mar!) we were lucky to have some leftovers, including roast beef and some delicious breads (pumpkin - yum!). Well, while I was at John's this weekend, Joe apparently made a roast beef sandwich . . . on pumpkin bread! LOL  He thought it was whole wheat bread! LOL  And yes, he finished it!

Kay :)

The Day After

Dad's funeral was so nice.  It was good to see the family, all the cousins and my aunts and uncles and friends. It really does make you feel so much better. The hoar frost was beautiful, and the sun came out. It was wicked cold though! I think some of the smaller cousins got a little hypothermic during the color guard and taps. Luckily there was plenty of food (including the beloved Mallaney fried chicken!) to warm everyone up, thanks to Mar. She took care of everything to do with the food, we didn't have to give it a thought, and her lovely sisters brought it over and gosh it is good to have friends like that.

Cousins Bobby and Denny spoke of Dad and it was lovely. They knew him before I did, back before he knew mom even. Denny is older. :)

When I remember Dad, at least what pops into my head most often these last few days . . .

How Mom took such good care of Dad. It was because of Mom that we had Dad at home since the dementia. Love is patient, love is kind. Love is work sometimes! LOL 

How Dad, in his 80's, went to the top of Starved Rock (and mom and Joe couldn't make it)!

How Dad would lie on the floor to watch TV or read the paper, or just snooze, and he could get up by pushing himself to both knees, then standing right up, not leaning on anything! Try it . . . and then remember to try it again when you are in your 80's! LOL

His hatred for the Cubs. I'm not sure what he enjoyed more . . . rooting against the Cubs or rooting for the White Sox!

His love for family, kitties, Notre Dame, fried chicken, beer, "scrimp", and french silk pie.

How much fun he had down at the bars with his buddies. And how lucky he was! He was always winning a raffle or a prize on the tip board. I drank a lot of beer Bernie won! LOL

How much he loved to take rides and go visiting, and never mind if no one was home! He would raid refrigerators and gardens and candy dishes and leave his calling card if no one was home . . . an empty beer can and candy wrappers! LOL  And he brought home lots of pilfered garden produce! LOL Thanks Uncle George!

How strong his faith was. He would say a deck of the rosary for any family or friend who needed it.

How he and Mom would always be on front porch, waving goodbye whenever one of us hit the road!


How Dad carried two full 5-gallon buckets of rain water out to the garden for me, in his 80's! That is heavy folks.

How one time Mom got Dad new jeans for work, and they were a different cut, and Dad came home from work and told mom he would not wear those jeans again! Mom asked him why and Dad replied, "All the guys called me John Revolta!" 

All the talks we had on our rides, by the old farm, down to the river to watch for a barge and feed the "pigeons", and driving through the cemeteries. Dad loved it.

And one more time . . . beer! I think my love of beer is genetic. I got it from Bernie!

I don't know what I will write about on here now, without the Exploits of Bernie! Gosh.

Dad's dementia was no fun, I will not lie, but Dad came around, he eventually recognized us as family again, and there were still good times to be had and we had them! I have lot of good memories of the last couple of years. Life is good even when it isn't perfect.

It's fun to think of dad back with "the gang", his brothers and beloved cousin, Robert, and his folks and sisters.

I can't believe the funeral was just yesterday!

That's all for now.

Kay :)

Dad

Dad 12/12/19 - 01/10/2015. Rest in peace Bernie.

Bernie

We got a call Saturday night that Dad was going to be transferred from rehab back to the hospital. The pneumonia was back. It's been all downhill from there. He started having trouble swallowing and I think his body is just worn out. Yesterday Dad was transferred back to the rehab center, and is now under hospice care. He has remained unresponsive for the past couple of days. Mom spent a lot of time with Dad today and met with the hospice caseworker.

I just left him, he is resting comfortably. He had a tiny smile on his face and seems very peaceful. He is definitely closer to heaven today than he was yesterday.

When I walked back into Park Pointe today I couldn't help but remember New Years Eve.  It was before the pneumonia came back. Mom and I went to visit Dad and we couldn't find him at first. Seems he was down at a New Year's Eve Party. We walked down there to find him enjoying chocolate candy and drinking a beer and enjoying the live music! LOL  We had a fun visit that day.

Later on New Year's Eve I was going to my friend's house for a small party. I didn't want to drink too much, wanted to be home early, so I decided I would take 4 beers with me. That would be plenty. And I remembered seeing an open 12-pack of Busch in the shed. I figured I would just use that up instead of buying anything else.

At the party, after I finished my 5 beers (oops how did that extra beer get in there!?), I resisted my friends' urgings to have "just one more", sticking to my self imposed limit (sort of), and telling them that I wanted to get home safely and didn't want to get pulled over or anything. 

Fast forward to this a.m. . . . I reached down to relocate that 12-pack box, it still had a couple of cans in it, and I'll be darned if I didn't ration my beer intake on New Year's Eve with the non-alcoholic beer I bought Bernie to take to the reunion in August! LOL  I told Dad that story tonight too, I know he would get a kick out of it.

I guess I'm lucky I made it this far in my life without going through anything like this. Lots of my friends have already been through it with both of their parents!

Things sure change fast. I have a pile of things here I was laying by for when Dad was able to come home from rehab! ARGHHHHH

That's all for now.

Kay :)